Logically, in my mind, I knew that these days would come when he'd be in high school, and I knew that my time with him would be limited. I knew that he would grow tall and big and strong. I knew that he would be independent because that's what we've taught him to be. I knew all of this.
And I am so proud that he has grown to be all of these things.
But what I didn't know was that fourteen years would pass by in the blink of an eye. I didn't know that I'd miss the smell of baby Jakob quite so much. I didn't know that I'd long for those late nights when he'd wake up, I'd nurse him, and we'd fall asleep together with me holding him. I didn't know that I'd cry at the thought (just the thought!) of him moving away for college.
I assume that all moms feel this way, but it feels lonely. It feels like I'm the only mom in the whole wide world to ever feel this...this...feeling about him leaving. This is the weirdest feeling ever. It's all pride, anxiety, a sense of accomplishment, lonely, happy, and sad all wrapped into one.
And that's all I have to say about that.