01 February 2015

INSOMNOMANIAC

It's 6:00 a.m.

I have not yet been to sleep. I think I'm avoiding my nightmares. 

I've started organizing my closet, again, and how does it continue to get so messy anyway? My shirts are neatly hung in color arrangement, and that brought up all sorts of philosophically not very important questions. What does one do with the patterned shirts? Should I hang all the plaids together, do the stripes want to be in their own clique? Am I segregating them? Do pants have to hang near pants? Also, I really want to get my whole wardrobe into the closet. I am sick of doing the seasonal change switch up. Plus the weather is really wonky, and it's been in the 70's lately. I could really use some of those spring jams. 

I have played around on pinterest. I deleted every board of mine that had to do with a baby. It's probably never going to happen, and I am tired of getting weepy every time I want to look at recipes or search for the perfect dainty gold necklace. I deleted my classroom clothes board too. Of course, I went through and relocated some of my favorite outfits from there. I just don't feel like I'll be in a classroom forever, and I was tired of looking at the ugly outfits I pinned in there because I feel pressure to dress a certain way since I'm a teacher. I'll dress however I dang well please. Take that! 

I've watched a very weird Jen Aniston movie called something like Good Gal or something. Then an interview with Imagine Dragons. They are amazing people. I have a new appreciation for them because of their genuineness and supportive nature towards one another. 

oh I also changed some things up on my blog. It's very simple right now. I would really like a very pretty header, but I am not tech savvy, and my brain needs mindless activities right now because the thinking leads to the over thinking which leads to the nightmares which leads to my not sleeping. As you can see it's all a vicious cycle. 

I graded a bunch of papers. And I have just one piece of advice for anyone who is a parent. Ask to see your kids graded papers before you call their teacher complaining about their grade. Most likely there is a comment to explain that. :)

This post was real boring, so thanks if you got this far. Hope y'all are enjoying a pleasant dream filled night full of beautiful thoughts and a cozy blanket. 

27 January 2015

PAPER SOULS

When I read John Green's novel, Paper Towns, I was struck by the way he perfectly explained the way I felt about the town I currently live in. When he described the towns as paper, and the people as paper, I just thought how amazing it was at he summed up what I'd been trying to say about the people in this town. 

Unsubstantial paper. 

I find myself growing more and more disillusioned by the cheerful facade that so many people here put up. They preach about being Christian, but they tell people who are struggling to "help themselves" then I'm left wondering when Jesus told those he helped to just "do it themselves." 

I find myself wondering how people can be so closed off and judgmental and intolerant. Then I remember I'm living In the 'buckle' of the 'Bible Belt,' but I still have trouble why believing in one thing means that you cannot even entertain that other people should be allowed to believe in something else. 

Unsubstantial people. 

I worry that the shallowness, petty thoughts, entitled attitude, of the people here are tarnishing my son. I worry about this because for awhile I let the insignificant paperness of this town work its way in me. I wanted to belong, I wanted to be a part of the yuppie wealth that knew no real creativity and certainly didn't care if it gave back to those less fortunate. 

I found myself again though. I realized that shallow wealth, driving the 'right' car, having the 'right' house in the 'right' neighborhood, wearing expensive clothes that weren't even my style was not important. I don't care about being wealthy. I don't even know what the right car is, nor do I care. I hate all the 'right' neighborhoods in this town, and the houses I like are sooooo not even close to being even in the vicinity of right. I could care less about the label on the clothes. I don't see why anyone would shell out a hundred bucks for a preppy sweater with a whale on it. 

For awhile I felt apologetic, like I should be trying harder to fit in. And it's taken me a few minutes, or years, to realize that I don't have to love it here. I can find things to like, and I can be happy here without selling me soul to the consumer shallow unsubstantial paperness of this town. I can still be me.



16 January 2015

ADVENTURES IN GRADUATE SCHOOL

Tonight I started my first graduate class. 

I am taking Medieval Traditions. My professor is brilliant. It is a super small class of five graduate students. 

I was incredibly nervous as I was sitting in the building waiting for class to start, and I was chatting via text with one of my people, who also recently went back to get her masters. She told me the nerves would go away, and it would feel like I was back where I belonged again. She couldn't be more right. 

We discussed events in history, literature, theology, architecture, and war. Even though I didn't have a clue what most of the dates coincided with, and I was nervous that everyone would think I was a blooming idiot I loved every single minute of it. 

It's the feeling I wish I could recreate as a teacher...the anticipation of expanding your mind, striving to learn, a thirst for knowledge, but I'm not sure it's possible in the world of secondary education. It's not a dig on public education. I think that the majority of teenagers are just not interested in perpetuating knowledge. They're into the really important things like make up and finding a girl/boy friend. 

Anyway, it feels really good to be furthering my education because I do strive to learn. 


14 January 2015

THE "F" WORD

I've been on twitter quite a bit recently talking about feminism. I've actually been arguing with idiots, but I've found this incredible group of women who are helping me define what I actually think feminism looks like. I think there are a lot of misconceptions about what feminists are and what we believe and that being a feminist means hating men or that we're lesbians or we hate shaving or wearing skirts.

We-el, maybe some women feel that way. Heck! Some men may feel that way. Why does it have to be one way or the other? Can't we just want EVERYONE to be equal without it being that we hate another or have to be put in this little box? But the feminist haters seem to think that just because we want women to have the same freedoms and respect that men have enjoyed for years that we suddenly hate men. This whole train of thought completely befuddles me. I'm not even trying to understand it anymore.

I just decided to espouse feminism in the way it was meant to be adopted, in my own unique and personal way. That is, after all, the whole point of a feminist movement, right?

Because to me feminism will....


  • make the world a safer place for women.
  • provide a judicial system that doesn't question rape victims about their part in perpetuating the crime.
  • allow women to not be judged for what they wear, who they kiss, who they have sex with, or for that matter what anyone wears, kisses, or screws. 
  • let women stop worrying that they can't climb the corporate ladder simply because they possess a vagina and breasts.
  • assure the transgender/transsexual community that they have the right to identify with whatever sex or gender that they want to identify with. 
  • abolish the idea that certain toys or activities are for boys or for girls, and that somehow liking those "boy" things makes you a tomboy or less of a girl, and that liking "girl" things makes you less of a boy. Seriously, who cares?
  • get rid of the use of "girl" or "pussy" as a derogatory term. Why is it an insult to call a boy those things or imply that they do something in a girly manner? The sex that I was born should not be an insult to someone.
  • stop making a woman being shown topless porn while a man shown topless is the norm. (they're just boobs; let's all get over it please)
  • teach boys that women are more than the sum of their parts.
  • teach everyone that every person has the right to control their own body, including who touches it in what way and when.
  • allow everyone, in every part of the world, the chance to educate themselves.
  • marriage equality. Every single person should be able to marry any person (or heck people) that they want to marry. 
It's not an agenda. It's not anyone trying to hurt anyone else. It's just people wanting everyone to be who they are, and everyone else to not judge them based on that. 

Be yourself. And let others be themselves without fear of being ridiculed and judged. 

Just be kind to one another. 

04 January 2015

THE SWEETEST NIECE

That's me with my niece, Allyson, last summer. We were on our way to meet Elsa and do some Frozen crafts at a local mall. She was really excited, and of course we both had to have Elsa braids.

 Then she spotted Olaf while we were waiting in line (forever...we were waiting forever). And we got some pictures with him. She was disappointed that he was big Olaf. They should have gotten a small person. (I don't know what the politically correct way to say that is?). Finally, after waiting in line (forever), we got to the front where we met Elsa, who told us that she was not allowed to make magical snowballs in the mall.  


This happened and I was scared the entire time, but apparently my niece is not afraid of heights. Nor does flipping upside down wildly provoke any sort of motion sickness within her. 

I got a little queasy watching, but I got many good pictures of all of her flips as she smiled, waved, and made sure we were watching. 
We did a little family bowling while I was down there, and Allyson proudly picked out her very own pink bowling ball. She beat me too. I mean she had bumpers, but whatever.


We bonded over a shared love of books. We went to the library together, and she would read me the books I had picked out. She's actually a great reader. I'm glad she likes to read. 

I firmly believe that a love of books and enjoying to read, especially fiction, grows your mind and imagination. It certainly makes education an easier thing if one is a good reader. 

We hung out at the beach. We built some sand castles, surfed some waves, caught some rays, and had a good time in general. She's basically the perfect beach buddy. 

I miss her a lot. And I wish I could be with her, especially today of all days, as she turns a great big seven.

Happy Birthday Allyson. 

Love, 
Your Aunt Rhonda

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